Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
