Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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