True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the condom got lost in my hair
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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