How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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