the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
