I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have feelings that need drinking.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
