Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
