all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
