i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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