i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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