I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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