"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
