one might say we're banned from that church
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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