Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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