is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
