East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
