We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
