Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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