It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
