i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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