Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
