If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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