Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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