You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
