i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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