it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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