you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
