3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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