I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
