I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
