but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
