you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
