what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
