id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
should my penis look like a turkey
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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