Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
