idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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