ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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