ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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