He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
