Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
