I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
