and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
