my vag is so smooth its legendary
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
