I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
