We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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