I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
