i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
