; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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