He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
