I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
