I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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