its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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