I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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