just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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